Chapter 42

[The following chapter contains strong language. Reader caution is advised.]

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Thursday 3rd June 1999

 

 

I was beginning to regret the arrangement Kitty and I had agreed upon. After days of hanging around in Adam’s country house, we were finally on our way back to…

 

To my regular life. For me to try and slot back in like I hadn’t surrendered it all a few weeks ago. To confront the friends I’d screamed at, and the family who were probably none-the-wiser as to why I’d disappeared.

 

Dom had finished work on Kitty’s new Lokon weapon in the previous evening, so I’d gone to bed knowing that the following day would be the one in which I’d be going home. I woke up with extreme nerves that only got worse as the day went on. I put on a smile while saying my farewells, of course, but then it was Kitty and I in the back of a car as Dom drove us off and my nerves were threatening to eat me from the inside.

 

I could tell that Kitty felt bad for me and had no idea how to comfort me. I couldn’t hold it against her, considering how withdrawn she tended to be. Besides, this was my problem to deal with. It didn’t seem right to involve her in my angst.

 

Save for Dom occasionally trying to strike up conversation, it was mostly the radio playing that broke the silence we would have otherwise had to endure.

 

At one point, as we reached the outskirts of town, I noticed that Kitty had her eyes shut; she seemed to be focusing on her breathing, trying to calm herself. Only made sense that I wasn’t the only one nervous over this…

 

I put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’ll be fine,” I told her softly. “They’re good people, I promise you.”

 

She looked at me with those big eyes of hers, as if to say “stop being so nervous yourself, then”.

 

“I’ve got your back if you’ve got mine,” I added with another crippled smile.

 

“Okay…” she squeaked back.

 

“Going to need directions from here, Alex,” Dom spoke up from the driver’s seat.

 

I took my hand away from Kitty’s shoulder, and leant into the gap between front seats to get a better view out of the windscreen.

“Let’s see… keep going straight for the moment…”

 

The next several minutes were me playing backseat driver, steadily watching one familiar road after another unfold in front of me, like onion layers or pass-the-parcel wrappers being stripped away. Each turn, a little closer. I could feel my pulse increasing.

 

And then, suddenly, a few streets away from Dakota’s place, we came around the corner and witnessed my friends in the midst of a battle against a four-armed goliath, maybe 15 feet tall, with a body constantly shifting like it was made of lava.

 

Understandably, Dom ground the car to a halt as soon as he saw the monster.

“Hoooooly cow!” he yelped out.

 

The battle was going on to the right of the car, so my view wasn’t as clear as Kitty’s and Dom’s. Even then, seeing the others in the flesh for the first time in days and days was acutely surreal.

 

“You fight monsters like that?” Kitty asked me while watching the fight take place a stone’s throw away.

 

“Like that, Tickle Bugs, living Opal Fruits…” I reeled off a little less than breezily. “Mostly like that, I guess.”

 

“I guess we’ve got to go and help, then,” she spoke with rising confidence.

 

One song faded out on the radio, and another crept on…

 

Because We Want To. The song I heard for the first time the same day all of this began.

 

And I couldn’t help but smile, despite myself. It felt like fate was giving me a push forward.

 

“Let’s roll,” I found myself commanding.

 

Kitty summoned her weapon into her grasp: a claw-like object, with a blade either side of a large handle, protruding perpendicular and glowing a fantastical pure purple. I figured I’d wait until getting out of the car to summon my sword.

 

“Thanks for the lift, Dom,” I managed to say while opening the car door. “Bye!”

 

“Thank you,” Kitty added, following my lead.

 

“You’re welcome! I’m gonna hang around to see how the fight unfolds!”

At least I think that’s what he said, because I shut the door the moment I stepped out, so driven had I become all of a sudden.

 

Didn’t seem that any of the others had noticed us yet, with the imminent threat of ol’ four-arms devouring their attention. That was fine, though. Time for a big entrance.

 

“Ready?”

I brought forth my Lokon sword.

 

“Ready.”

Kitty swung her right arm in front of her body, bringing the emblem port of her weapon in line with the centre of her chest. A glorious burst of purple erupted out and doused her, before dissipating and unveiling her in her new Painter gear. Since I was viewing her from behind, with a car between us for good measure, I couldn’t get a good look of it… but it seemed that her jacket had a hood (currently up) and long sleeves.

“… awesome…” I heard her mutter as she inspected her new look.

 

I blasted on my own Painter gear, and as soon as the momentary burst of blue disappeared, I saw Kitty dashing off on a collision course with the monster.

 

The others noticed her just as she got in range and took a lunging swipe across the beast’s side. It turned to look at her, but she’d already darted around, slashing along its back with a leap and then stabbing its thigh.

 

My turn, then. I sprinted down the street, trying to focus on how I was going to attack ol’ four-arms rather than how the others would react to my return. A long-distance strike seemed more useful, so I charged my sword up as I closed the span between myself and my target. Hitting what I felt was a good distance away, I ground to a halt and let my momentum drive an almighty swipe, unleashing an arc of blue which soared ahead and struck forcefully. The monster roared out and reeled from the new barrage of attacks, but was still standing.

 

“Alex!!!” Kendal yelled out in unadulterated joy.

 

“Maaaan!” Bao chimed in right after.

 

Ol’ four-arms roared again, like a whistle or a bell to end our fleeting break.

 

Zahid followed Kitty’s lead in moving forward and attacking the monster’s legs; when it tried to punch downwards at him, Bao sprung forth and slashed at one of its arms. It pulled back, infuriated, only to find Bao riding along, yellow ropes trailing out of the slash-marks and attached to the blades of his weapons. Whooping and cheering, he swung and leapt around the monster, weaving through its moving arms in a succeeding effort to bind its upper limbs.

 

“All yours, Dakota!” he called out while losing momentum, left dangling by ol’ four-arms’ side.

 

And she stepped forward. As beautiful as ever, focused, spear at the ready. She lined up her weapon for the bound beast’s chest like a javelin, only instead of releasing it and letting it fly, she launched a piercing lance of green that flew straight through its target.

 

Sadly, that wasn’t enough to defeat the monster.

 

“Aaaand now he’s pissed,” Zahid observed flatly.

 

Rather than freezing and smudging into nothingness, ol’ four arms seemed to melt away… or rather, almost like Nightmare’s transformation back into Kitty, an outer layer pouring off to unveil a smaller version of itself, maybe half the size of the original. Dakota’s green bolt was no longer in its chest, instead lost in the dissolving sludge at its feet.

 

It roared once again, and then charged straight for Dakota.

 

Like a matador, she moved out of its way just before it reached her, sliding to one side and then revolving around to stab it from behind. Its back pair of arms reached for the spear, yanking it out and then flinging it – and Dakota – over its head. She managed to land on her feet, at least, though the recoil of hitting the ground had her stumble back.

 

A glowing pink arrow struck ol’ four arms’ back, followed by another, and another.

“Come on, man, the rest of us want some action too!” Kendal called out to him teasingly. Unsurprisingly, the monster turned its attention to her, marching over furiously.

 

“Mind if I cut in?” Bao asked gleefully, sprinting past the entity mid-charge and slicing at it with his blades. Kitty followed his lead, moving in and taking a couple of slashes, before moving back as Zahid landed a firm blow with his axe, square in the monster’s back. Red blasted out as the attack doubled down.

 

And still, the thing was standing.

 

Rushing over, I swung for ol’ four arms with my sword, slicing through it left shoulder(s) to right hip like it was made of butter.

 

The leg portion disappeared as expected, but the half-a-torso with head and two right arms remained as active as ever, if less mobile.

 

Behind it strode Dakota, spear-tip once again charging up with a fearsome green glow. She raised the weapon up, blade-down, and stabbed it into the monster’s molten head. At last, with a strained whine, it froze and blurred its way out of existence.

 

I had no time to relax before Kendal grabbed me into an almighty hug.

“You’re back, you’re back! You’re finally back!”

 

“I’m back…” I smiled in relief, while Bao hugged me from behind, sandwiching me between himself and Kendal.

 

“Good to see you again, man,” he spoke warmly.

 

“Thanks…”

Awh damn, my eyes were starting to get watery… (Hey, is this going to be a thing now I’m 17?)

 

“Don’t you cry,” Kendal observed, “cause then you’ll set me off…”

 

“I won’t…” I assured her, fighting it back. She released me, and Bao did the same a moment later, at which point Zahid patted me on the back.

 

“Welcome back,” he smiled at me reassuringly.

 

Then, Dakota stepped forward. I couldn’t quite read her expression… she seemed to be pulling a poker face.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked.

 

“Yeah…”

I couldn’t sound too emphatic – my yoyo nerves once again taking hold of me as the fear of having driven her away arose – but it was the truth. The worst of it had long passed.

 

It took a moment, but Dakota embraced me, warmly, tightly. I returned the favour, holding her close, realising just how much I’d missed this feeling.

 

“I’m sorry…” I told her, trying to contain the swell of emotions brewing up within me.

 

“I know,” she replied. “We’ll talk about it later.”

 

“Okay…”

Nerves bouncing back up again…

 

The hug ended, and everybody’s attention turned to Kitty. She seemed to shrink about five inches under the gaze of so many eyes.

 

Kendal practically bounced forward.

“Hi! I’m Kendal! Who’re you? Where’d you get the weapon?”

 

“Uhm…”

Like a deer in the headlights.

“I’m… Kitty. The weapon-”

 

“Like Kitty Pryde!” Bao enthused.

 

She looked to him, equal parts confused and surprised.

“Who…?”

 

“Kitty Pryde!” he repeated like that made it any clearer. “Shadowcat, from the X-Men and Excalibur!”

 

Our Kitty nodded in bewilderment.

 

“I’m Bao, by the way!”

 

“Zahid,” the guy himself waved lightly.

 

“And I’m Dakota. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kitty,” Dakota concluded with a welcoming smile.

 

Kitty’s response was a simple nod, seemingly still a little overwhelmed.

 

“To put a long story as short as I can,” I spoke up instead, “Harmony messed around with Kitty, we met each other, and then Harmony directed us to the guy who first discovered Lokonessence… and his assistant made Kitty’s new weapon.”

 

“Did he also leave your bag for you?”

That was Harriet’s voice; I turned to see her standing there with the bag I’d forgotten to bring out of Dom’s car with me (not much in there, just the clothes we’d been wearing when we arrived at Adam’s, Kitty’s PJs, and my birthday card). Considering I hadn’t noticed her before, she must have moved out of the way of the fight when it began, and noticed Dom leaving the bag behind. His car wasn’t parked up where it had been anymore.

 

“Yeah, that’s ours…” I nodded, walking over to her to take the bag.

 

“It’s good to see you back,” she told me despite the frown on her face. Then, she turned to Kitty, and suddenly that usual warm expression was on her face.

“Hello! My name’s Harriet.”

 

“She’s my girlfriend and our team mascot!” Bao grinned brazenly.

 

“Bao…”

 

The look Kitty gave Harriet was surprising to me. Rather than being timid, she seemed… put off by her.

“I’m Kitty,” she said again, this time a little more sharply.

 

“Nice to meet you, Kitty,” Harriet carried on obliviously.

 

“So… firstly, I wanna say I’m sorry…” I addressed everyone now. “I’m an idiot and there’s no excuse for what happened…”

 

“We forgive you,” Kendal insisted brightly. “But don’t hit yourself in the future! I felt that, dude.”

 

“I’ll do my best…” was the most I could muster to that. It’s not like I plan it in advance, so I’d have to fight my own impulses. “So, what have I missed?”

 

My friends all looked at one another wordlessly. My yoyo nerves shot up once again.

 

“Let’s go back to mine…” Dakota responded.

 

…

 

I won’t go through the entire explanation. Once Kitty had been shown around Dakota’s place, we settled down and I was informed about everything that had gone on in the past few weeks.

 

While I was gone, only the five of them, Lucy and seemingly Melody remembered my existence. No one else had noticed my absence, like I’d never existed. Even my parents had forgotten me.

 

The others had tried to track me down by tracing my weapon with theirs, but hadn’t had any luck. They’d actually travelled to the next town over last weekend… although, of course, Kitty and I were at Adam’s by then.

 

Oh, and Lucy had broken up with Kendal.

 

“It’s okay, I told you before that I wasn’t sure if it’d ever be long-term,” Kendal told me as I went to comfort her. “I did my crying and ate my ice cream. I’m alright now.”

 

And with that all covered, Dakota took me upstairs.

 

“Where does Kitty live?” was her opening line.

 

“I don’t know… I don’t think she wants to go back. I figured she could stay here, at least for now, if that’d work…”

The idea had seemed fine in my head, but actually bringing it up felt like something I had to tip-toe through.

 

“Of course,” she nodded. “I’ll talk with her and figure something out. Did she…?”

A pause, as she mulled over her words.

“Did she save you? Did you stop being that monster because of her?”

 

“Yeah,” I replied succinctly. “There’s… stuff that I’m not going to talk about, for her sake. Maybe she’ll tell you about it; it’s her choice. But yeah, basically, that’s what happened.”

 

“I’ll have to thank her,” Dakota told me, looking me hard in the eye. “Y’know… there’s a small part of me that feels like I should end this… us… here. That I shouldn’t risk you doing something like this to me ever again.”

 

My heart abruptly found itself in a vice.

 

“But I love you. And maybe I’m being an idiot but I don’t want to give up on this. You make me so happy. Happier than anyone else in the world. So I need you to understand something… I’m not perfect.”

 

“No, but-”

 

“I’m not perfect, Alex,” she repeated herself. “Whatever your idea of perfect is, I’m not that, nobody is. And if you hold me or anyone else to that standard, it’s gonna hurt you when we don’t meet it.”

 

“It’s not like that,” I told her. “I know you’re not perfect objectively, but… but you are to me. You’re beautiful and funny and you understand me and you accept me and you’re so talented…”

 

“And where does me liking Titanic come into that?”

 

Checkmate. I felt it, even as the losing party.

 

“I’m an idi-”

 

“No, don’t fall back on that,” she warned me. “You aren’t an idiot. You’re just building me up as something incredible because you love me.”

 

“How isn’t that me being an idiot?”

 

Now it was her turn to be put on the back foot.

 

“Okay, listen. When I was nine, Mam and I were coming back from a day out. I kept drifting in and out of sleep and… and basically, I wet myself. In the car.”

She was blushing, now, even as she tried to keep her steely expression.

 

“That sucks…”

 

“Yeah… it did…”

 

“But that doesn’t make a difference…” I added. “That was an accident. I’m embarrassed for you but…”

 

“Jeez, thanks, I brought that story out and it wasn’t even worth it…” she smiled a little. “Fine, I have something else.”

 

“Sorry, are you just telling me embarrassing things about yourself now…?” I checked before she could continue.

 

“No- well, sort of…”

She exhaled softly.

“I haven’t told anyone else what I’m about to tell you. And don’t get me wrong, I know this is bad. But… in a way… I hate Mam.”

Clearly uncomfortable, almost ashamed. I could understand that, keenly.

“I love her, because she’s my mother and of course I do, but I… I resent her. Because my dad had just died and she dragged me away from everything else I knew. My friends, and my family, and my home. And she kept… praising me for being ‘a brave girl’ and I thought that was what was right. That I had to suck it all up and accept it, and if I said anything…”

 

A tear fell from her eyes, and then another.

 

“And maybe you’ll accept that, too. Maybe that’s fine but me liking some film is terrible. I don’t know how your mind works but I don’t want you to hurt, and…”

 

“Dakota…” I spoke up as she trailed off. “I’m just… I’m just scared. Okay? I’m scared because I feel so ashamed of myself and I don’t want you to be ashamed of me too.”

 

“You can disagree with me,” she told me, trying not to sob. “You can be annoyed with me. That’s fine. You’re not going to stop me loving Titanic or whatever else, and maybe I’m not going to make you okay with it. But I don’t love you any less for that.”

 

“You should,” I grumbled.

 

“Why? Because you feel bad about it?”

 

“Yes.”

 

The two of us stared each other down for a moment.

 

“Alex.”

She spoke first.

“No matter how much you hate yourself… no matter how ashamed you are… I love you. And you can’t change that.”

 

“I’ll never understand why you love me…” I told her straight.

 

“That’s fine,” she replied immediately, “so long as you understand that I do.”

 

With that, she held her arms open for me. That irresistible loving embrace once again.

 

Like a black hole’s inescapable gravity, I found myself drawn into her arms.

 

“From now on… tell me when you’re upset,” she advised. “Tell me. No matter what. Because if I leave it for when you’re ready, you’ll never stop bottling it up. Talk with me and I’ll never judge you.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“Promise?”

 

“I promise you, Dakota Radley…”

I pulled back enough to look deep into her gorgeous green eyes.

“No matter how ugly it is, I’ll tell you when I’m upset. You have my permission to drag every single thing out of me. Kick my arse if you have to.”

 

“I’ll hold you to that, mister,” she smirked, before kissing me affectionately.

 

“Hey, uhm… please don’t tell your mum about everything that happened, or she’ll kick my arse…” I added sheepishly.

 

“I won’t tell her about it if you don’t tell her about the ‘kinda hating her’ thing…” my girlfriend replied in kind, and the two of us found ourselves laughing softly together.

 

…

 

I decided to wait until everyone else had gone before heading home… partially to make sure that Dad would be back before I returned, but also to make sure Kitty was alright before I left. While she’d now met my friends, she was still less familiar with them than she was with me, so she’d probably not feel comfortable with being left alone with them just yet.

 

It was just after 8pm when I prepared to set off.

 

“I told you they wouldn’t hate you,” Kitty reminded me, sat on the stairs with her chin cupped in her hands while I put my shoes on.

 

“You did, yeah… I’ll have to remember to trust your judgement,” I smiled up at her. “What d’you think of them?”

 

“They’re… nice.”

The way she said it was as though she could finally relax for the first time in her life.

 

Dakota came back down the stairs at that point, sitting down next to Kitty.

“You can go, Alex, she’s safe,” she giggled. “We’ve got a load of gossiping to do about you.”

 

“Don’t believe a word, Kitty!” I warned her jokingly, as a little smile found its way onto the younger girl’s face.

 

I said my farewells, and then set off back home, carrying the bag that now contained only my school uniform and the card. My nerves were beginning to rise again as I walked, unsure of how exactly this reunion would play out. They knew nothing about what my life had entailed for the past eleven months…

 

My street, and then my home.

 

My front door.

 

I knocked on it, trying to control my breathing.

 

Lucy answered and promptly gasped.

“Hey, bro! Long time no see! You’re looking better!”

 

“Hey… thanks…”

I already felt exhausted by her and she’d only just popped up.

 

“You can come in but I dunno how this is gonna go…” my sister remarked, moving aside to let me through.

 

“I think I know…”

 

She shut the door while I strode through, slipping off my shoes and entering the living room.

 

Mum and Dad were sat watching TV; they turned to look at me at once, and realisation instantly hit them.

 

“Alex…” Mum spoke in shock. “Oh my god, Alex…!”

 

They both leapt to their feet, and for the hundredth time today, I was hugged tightly.

 

“Where have you…”

Dad stopped mid-sentence, reassessing everything.

“How did we… we forgot you…”

 

“I know… I know you did, and I’m sorry…” I told them.

 

“We forgot your birthday…” Mum added, almost panicking as the full scale of everything began to dawn on her. “My baby…”

 

“Okay, okay,” I chuckled a little, squirming out of the familial hug. “I can explain everything, but you have to promise not to tell anyone else.”

 

“Alex…” Lucy began behind me. “Are you about to…?”

 

“Tell us what it is, first,” Dad said. “Then we’ll promise.”

 

I moved away, into the centre of the room where I had enough space… and then, like so many times before, I brought forth my Lokon sword and donned my black-and-blue gear.

 

“I’m one of the Painters,” I told them in case the clothes didn’t make that clear.

 

“You did it! You mad son of a bitch, no offence Mum!” Lucy cried out in excitement.

 

As for my parents… well, wide eyes and slack jaws were the order of the day. Mum quickly took to the nearest armchair, while Dad stood firm.

 

“How… how long…?” Mum asked me, shaken.

 

“A year at the end of the month. My friends are the other Painters, too.”

 

“You’ve been fighting monsters…?” Dad spoke now.

 

“Not every day, but… yeah…” I nodded. “The reason you forgot me is… well… okay, it’s a long story but I sort of ran away, and the power in our weapons… blotted me out of your memories, I guess. But I’m back now and you can ground me if you want or whatever, but I had to tell you about this now because there’s no hiding this stuff anymore. And you can’t stop me.”

 

“Is it safe?”

Mum looked at me with such a fearsome look, it felt like she would snatch the sword away from me and forbid me from ever touching it again if I said it wasn’t.

 

“Trust me, we never finish a fight with a scratch on us.”

Which wasn’t a lie.

 

She and Dad looked at each other. Lucy watched on inquisitively.

 

“You make sure nothing like this ever happens again,” my mother warned me.

 

“It won’t. Never, ever again.”

I smiled at them.

 

I was home, at last.

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