Chapter 70
[The following chapter contains strong language. Reader caution is advised.]
Saturday 11th March 2000
There are other things for me to tell you but we can teleport now.
Teleportation!
Us!
Teleporting!
I mean, we can only go to places we can visualise clearly and accurately, so we’re hardly going to be popping to Australia on a whim or anything, but… teleportation!
We’ve been practicing by randomly teleporting around Dakota’s and surprising each other. For days on end. It’s become more competitive than I would’ve expected and I’m surprised one of us hasn’t had a heart attack at this point…
(In fact, Dakota and Bao got so competitive with each other that she teleported to his house and woke him up one morning. I’m now seriously worried he’s going to return the favour at some really opportune moment, if you know what I mean…)
Naturally, our practicing aside, we weren’t using the teleportation too much. It seemed more reasonable to try and continue on living normally, or as normally as possible, for the most part, especially since the weather was growing fair as Spring settled in. That said, I’m sure Bao and Kendal both teleported to Dakota’s on Saturday. They covered their tracks, powering down and sending their weapons back to the loft before knocking, but they both arrived a little earlier than usual and Kendal’s airy excuse for why she didn’t make the journey by car was less than convincing.
It was good to see Kendal at least a little more spirited since the whole leap day incident. She’s had a spring in her step from then on, and as we spent the afternoon lounging about, she was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
“What’cha drawing, Kitty?”
And Kitty didn’t bring her sketchpad to her chest sheepishly as soon as Kendal leant over. Everybody’s making progress.
“Just a comic idea I’ve been working on…”
Bao perked up at that.
“‘Just’? Dude, that’s awesome, lemme see-!”
“It’s not finished yet, wait-!”
“I’m trying to watch TV here…” Zahid grumbled as a light tussle commenced across the room from him.
“That looks cool!” Bao bleated.
“It’s a concept, I’ll probably tweak it-”
And y’know what? It was good to see Kitty wasn’t too traumatised by the leap day time-travel and having to spend another day with her family… or at the very least, I had to tell myself that was the case. She’d shown no major signs of being unsettled by it, but that didn’t necessarily mean she wasn’t. I simply had to trust that she wasn’t hiding anything from us.
“Maybe make that bit bigger…?” Kendal suggested while pointing to something on the pad.
“Maybe…”
“Oooh, she’s pretty hot,” Bao added, likewise pointing to one of the drawings.
“You think so?” Kendal asked, incredulously. “She’s not really my type…”
And then she looked up at me.
“Speaking of, can you please tell Lucy-”
“I have, repeatedly. She keeps saying she’s figuring out exactly what she wants to say,” I told her plainly.
“Yeah, that sounds right…”
A gloomy expression emerged on Kendal’s face, though she tried valiantly to fend it off.
“Maybe I’ll meet a nice girl at college…”
“Don’t they say people experiment in college and university?” Bao asked, honestly sounding just a little like he was genuinely unsure. “Maybe you’ll win over a straight girl?”
“Dude, that would be hot…” she smiled in a way I can only describe as deviously.
“Remind me to keep you away from my cousins…” Zahid requested, giving her an almost accusatory look.
“What about you, Kitty?” she turned her focus to the younger girl once more.
Kitty went saucer-eyed, and she shrunk back into the armchair until she seemed to be half her normal size.
“You want to…?”
“No, I’m talking you and Kevin, not- you’re too young and too you for that!” Kendal laughed. Kitty’s body melted back into something close to its original form with a hushed huff of relief.
“You’re the only other one of us besides the lovebirds who’s got someone to go out with!”
“Because hanging out with the rest of you has cramped my style,” Zahid grunted.
“So, are you gonna go on a date with him or what?”
“I… maybe…” Kitty squeaked, eyes darting this way and that in a fit of nervous panic. “We’ve talked a few times since Valentine’s Day… he’s kind of funny…”
“Weird-funny or me-funny?” Bao asked her with a smile.
“You’ve got to give her two different options, Bao,” Kendal chuckled, proud of her joke. Bao flashed her two fingers in playful riposte.
“You-funny, I guess…” Kitty answered. She was definitely blushing at this point…
“At least go on one date with him, see how it goes,” the older girl advised her brightly. “If you don’t like it, it’s not like you have to do it again.”
“I’ll think about it… I mean, I have been, but…”
“You’ve got to do what makes you happy,” Bao assured her. “It shouldn’t take a bullet to the head for someone to follow their heart. Oh, yeah, I got shot in the head before, I think I told you…”
Kitty just nodded, and gave a little affirmative “mhm” for good measure.
“And take your own advice, man,” Kendal turned to Bao. “Enough of the whole ‘I’ll just ruin a relationship’ thing. If you meet a girl you like, ask her out, got it?”
“If I meet someone at uni or something, sure… I know you’ll hunt me down if I don’t try…” he shrugged.
It was at this point that I rose from the sofa, grabbed my drink and left the room. I wasn’t sure if any of them noticed, and I tried not to listen on despite managing to hear some talk about how Bao would have all the girls after him at university or something. I ascended the stairs, and the sound of conversation faded away to be replaced by music; crossing the landing, I headed up to the loft, to the source of the music.
The sight of Dakota mid-routine greeted me; her focused expression switched to a warm, welcoming smile as she saw me, then returned back to attention quite literally without missing a beat.
I took to the piano bench, and sat my drink down on the lid before turning to watch her dance. It seemed like every movement was controlled and refined, and perfectly attuned with the music. And… y’know when you get used to something, like an image or a word, one day you can suddenly see or hear it in a way you never had? Sometimes… days like this… I look at Dakota and she’s like a masterpiece.
I forget how incredible she is. I take her for granted.
Watching her, for a couple of minutes, felt like being graced by the presence of something magical and magnificent. It was captivating, and humbling, because who the hell am I?
Her song came to an end and she stopped the CD.
“What’s up?” she asked me softly.
“Nothing,” I replied. Second nature.
She frowned.
“Alex, I’m not stupid. Something’s wrong. Tell me.”
“It’s stupid…” I insisted.
“And I won’t judge you,” she countered immediately. “Please.”
Cornered. Despite everything, it was still so hard for me to open up when I was feeling down…
“I’m just… useless…”
“You’re not useless…”
“I am. They’re sat downstairs talking about college and uni, you’re up here dancing like a fucking…”
My agitated mind tried and failed to reach for a simile.
“Professional… and I can’t even put a tune together…”
“Alex, you’re a great pianist-”
“I don’t mean that! I mean I’ve been trying to write something all day and I just… I can’t. And look at you, why the hell didn’t you take part in the talent show instead of me?”
Confusion settled upon her.
“Because I wanted to see you perform.”
“You’re so much better than me…” I told her flatly.
“I’m not… and I hoped that you getting to perform would help you see how good you are-”
“But it doesn’t matter, because I’m not going to uni and I don’t have any plans for what to do with my life, and I can’t even go and busk on the street or something with a fucking piano-”
“Alex, stop,” Dakota ordered me, sternly, annoyed now.
I said nothing else, just glowering back, upset with no-one but myself.
“I get it,” she began. “I get that you feel frustrated when it seems like everybody’s got things figured out except you. But that doesn’t make you useless. Okay? You’re smart and talented and you’ll figure something out.”
“I won’t,” I remarked with a huff. “Because if I don’t have other people pushing me to do something, I never fucking do it.”
“That’s not true…”
“Oh, no, sorry, you’re right. I can stab myself in the chest and run away for two weeks without anyone’s help.”
I sighed.
“This is all gonna end soon. We won’t have school, Bao and Kendal will be away, and everyone’s going to move on with their lives except me…”
She walked straight over and hugged me.
“You’ll be 18. You have so much time to find what you want to do in life, and I’m with you all the way. Please try not to beat yourself up over this.”
“Mhm…” was the most I could muster in response to that request, because it was so much easier said than done. Maybe she was right, but that didn’t make it easier and it didn’t suddenly resolve everything. And at the end of the day, I was still the one with no plans and no hope of managing anything on my own.
“You know what might make you feel better…?” she purred sweetly in my ear. Despite myself, I quivered ever-so-slightly as that loaded tone of voice reverberated through me.
“What…?”
I almost didn’t want to ask, but she had me hypnotised with just a handful of words.
She simply giggled devilishly, and dashed back across the loft to the CD player. I was left on tenterhooks as she switched discs, until Genie in a Bottle began.
“Uhm-”
“Shhhhh…” she interrupted me, quickly beginning another routine, only… there was an eroticism to her movements that I’d not seen in her dancing before. “I’ve been working on this for a little while…”
Snaking about, moving rhythmically, she steadily made her way towards me, her eyes locked on mine the whole time as I watched on, utterly transfixed, captivated by her.
She reached me at the chorus, moved close, against me, and stupid me realised only then that my girlfriend was essentially giving me a lap dance.
She bit her lip softly as she rolled her shoulders, let the movement travel down to her hips, then swayed.
I’ll be honest. The hot-blooded teen that I am, my ill thoughts had, for the moment at least, been utterly decimated. Call me simple-minded all you like, but this was so sexy that it completely stole my attention.
I noticed my breathing was short.
She turned away from me, swayed her hips seductively as I watched helplessly. And I could still feel that stare even when she was facing the other way.
Then she turned, moving this way and that, and fuck it, I can’t do this any justice because as much as she’s taught me the basics, her dancing is like magic to me and this was more amorous and seductive than I could ever hope to describe (or, rather, I don’t know how the hell to get across how amorous and seductive her movements were to me).
She came close again, and I could feel her breath against my neck for a moment as she danced against and around me and I felt…
I felt blessed. And a little undeserving. Grateful, but undeserving. My mind was splashed awake by the cold prospects of my dimly-lit future, and I remembered exactly who I was. Here was Dakota, doing all this for me just because I was – rightfully – being harsh on myself.
The idea of her being better off with somebody else flashed through my brain, but I tried to dismiss it. Not only because she’d declared time and time again that she loved me, but because, selfishly, I didn’t want to let her go.
Had I trapped her? Entranced her in the same way she was entrancing me at that moment? Those hazy flashes of the future, where did they find her and me? If I can’t be happy with myself, can I ever truly be happy?
Dakota’s butt landed down on my lap and startled me back to my senses. She ground against me (as in me) for the “come, come, come on and let me out” at the bridge, then returned to her feet, faced me with the same longing look, and carried on obliviously.
I still can’t quite grasp why this girl is so in love with me the way I am with her. I know that she sees something in me that I don’t, but I can’t be certain it’s genuinely there.
All the same… I can’t say I’m not happy that she is in love with me.
The final part of the song. That gaze, those movements, her hips, my desire, all wrapped in a tingly atmosphere and Christina Aguilera’s voice, closer, warmer, hotter, burning, and then-
“Boo!” Bao’s voice pierced through the scene like a lancing needle, so suddenly off to the side in full Painter regalia.
Dakota and I jumped at the same time, and looked at him in surprise; he immediately realised what he’d just intruded upon, and stared back awkwardly.
The song ended on that tableau, the three of us locked in a flustered end-pose. What a Girl Wants started playing, and that appeared to reanimate Bao.
“… I mean, it’s a good thing I didn’t wait to teleport in on you two having sex, right…?” he offered up stiffly.
Somehow, that got all three of us laughing, and I can’t even pinpoint exactly why. We laughed heartily for several seconds before composing ourselves.
“Get the hell out of the loft,” Dakota warned Bao with her voice still humoured.
“Y-Yeah I’ll go-”
He teleported away with gusto.
Dakota wordlessly headed over to the CD player and stopped the track.
“Soooo… interruption aside, what did you think…?” she asked while making her way back to me.
“It was… wow…”
“Glad you enjoyed it…”
She pulled up her chair and sat next to me, drinking from the sports bottle that had been sat there before her.
“Though, err… I have a tip…” I found myself saying.
“Yeah?”
“One big tip, really, that came up while you were performing…”
“… oho…” she smirked, catching on.
“I’ll have to drill it into you later,” I smiled back at her.
“I like the sound of that, mister,” she giggled, and then kissed me. “But we’ll have to clamp Bao’s blades beforehand-”
“I was thinking that, yeah…”
“And hey,” she continued, a more nurturing tone now, a hand running through my messy hair, “when we go back downstairs, remember… you’re just as good as the others. And they’re your friends. They have your back too. Please don’t let this funk get the better of you.”
“I know,” I said through my doubts. “Oh, I heard talk about us getting pizza later…?”
“Alright, but this time, Kendal’s getting a whole pizza for herself,” Dakota stated wearily. “We’re not having a repeat of the other week.”
I know it won’t be long before we can’t do this very often… and between you and me, I’m dreading it. But for all my faults and all my stupid issues – for all my hang-ups over them preparing for their futures while I flounder without any plans – I can’t help but enjoy hanging out with my friends. Dakota’s dance had at least restored enough joy in me that I could have fun for the rest of the day, with the people I loved being with so much.