Chapter 66

[The following chapter contains strong language. Reader caution is advised.]

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Saturday 29th January 2000

 

 

Routine is an odd thing. You can so easily develop a routine without even meaning to, and it grows into second nature to the point where any disruptions completely throw you.

 

Take, for instance, the Saturday morning routine at Dakota’s place. Kitty’s usually up a little before Dakota and me, drawing or practicing at one video game or another. We eat together, Dakota and I wash up and do any tidying that needs doing, and then we go for a walk if the weather’s nice or, as in these cold winter months, instead stay in and find something to do. It would be midday or a little later when everybody else turned up. A bit dull, maybe, but I think it’s pretty reasonable for a dozy Saturday morning. Things pick up once we’re all together, anyway.

 

The abrupt and forceful knocking on the front door at a little after 10am – yes, us teenagers somehow manage to be up that early, thanks to the Friday night routine Dakota had gotten us into – tore right through that sense of normality.

 

No, let me correct myself… it wasn’t the knocking that did that, it was what it signalled.

 

“I’ll get it…” I muttered before a small stroll to the door. I was relieved to find Zahid on the other side, rather than a stranger looking for money or converts, but his thunder-like face told me pretty swiftly that something was wrong. A split-second later, I noticed the bags (and guitar case) on his person.

 

“Hey,” he growled through ambient frustration. “I’m gonna crash here for a while.”

 

He stepped forwards, and I immediately moved back to make way for him, knowing better than to try and argue or stand in his way. A few irritated huffs escaped his nose as he placed his belongings down at the foot of the stairs, and then he removed his shoes and coat while I hovered about without any idea what to do or say. Once he’d finished, he prowled through to the living room; I followed after him like a duckling keeping up with its mother.

 

“Oh, hey Zahid, you’re early today,” Dakota greeted him cheerily.

 

“Hey,” Kitty added, quieter, visibly thrown. If Dakota was as confused, she wasn’t showing it the way Kitty was.

 

“Yeah, had to get away from my family before I killed them all,” Zahid explained sharply. He collapsed back into his favoured armchair while I returned to the sofa, a little less out-of-it now for having actually gained a faint understanding of what had caused this decision.

 

“Easy there, what happened…?” our leader asked, a soothing tone laced with palpable curiosity.

 

Zahid audibly exhaled from his nose, and rested his head back, staring up at the ceiling.

“They got on my case about not having my whole fucking life planned out and then shit escalated. I almost completely snapped and I have no idea how I managed not to.”

 

“You didn’t, that’s what counts” she reasoned. “I’m happy for you to stay here but you should try and patch things up with them-”

 

“Screw that. I’m through with all of them. Not like they’ll miss the son who’s never good enough, anyway…” he scowled bitterly.

 

“Have they ever told you that’s how they feel…?”

 

“They don’t have to, Dakota.”

His fingers began tapping furiously on the arm of the chair.

“I can’t do anything right. Y’know, they used to complain about me being holed up in my room all the time. And now they always complain about me hanging out with you guys. The electric guitar’s too rowdy, I need to start going to prayer again, I should go to university, they want me to be something I’m not and it’s all I’ve ever heard from them-”

 

Another knock at the door soundly interrupted him. I sprung to attention – and to my feet – like some kind of half-butler, half-puppy.

 

“That’ll probably be Bao asking to move in too,” I claimed offhandedly while scurrying back to the hallway, adding a quick “sorry” just in case I’d wound Zahid up further.

 

Trip #2 to the door. And, as it turned out, Hassan #2 on the other side, or at least I assumed as much in the moment with the young Asian woman looking fairly worked-up.

 

“Where is he?” she asked immediately, although she had the decency not to plain barge into a stranger’s house.

 

“Uhm… not here…?” I replied with the utmost confidence.

 

“I saw him coming in from down the road,” she informed me. Man, that scowl was spookily similar to Zahid’s…

 

“No, I mean, he did come in but then he went out the back door…” I managed to bluff as the mental image played out in my mind.

 

“Uh-huh. Left all his belongings on the stairs, did he?”

Zahid’s relative gestured towards the bags untouched where he’d left them (in fairness, it had barely been two minutes since he’d arrived).

 

My brain sputtered to a halt at that point.

“… Zahid…?” I called out for him instead. He responded with an almighty groan.

 

“Can’t come to the door, I’m busy doing everything my family doesn’t want just to spite them,” he bellowed.

 

The lady, in turn, closed her eyes and shook her head in annoyance.

“You’re overreacting, Zahid…”

 

“They’re the ones that are overreacting…!”

A second later, he emerged from the living room, in battle mode all but literally.

“I’ve had enough, Samira. I got sick of it ages ago and now my patience is gone too. I’m not living with you anymore.”

 

“If we all just calm down and talk about this properly-”

 

“What’s the point?” he asked her with the weight of exhaustion pressing against his words. “They don’t listen to me. You barely listen to me. All you’re expecting is that I’ll listen to you all telling me how wrong I am and agree with you, but fuck that noise. Maybe I’m not the one who’s wrong. Ever thought about that?”

 

It was around here that I realised how out-of-place I was, hanging around in the side-lines of this battle of words without any protection or any way to help.

 

“They just want what’s best for you,” Samira insisted wearily.

 

“No, they want what’s best for them,” he snarled back. “They want their perfect son and I’m not that.”

 

“Okay, look, I’m not going to fight their battles for them,” she relented, “but I’ll say this much: at some point, you need to stop thinking that they’re just doing this to spite you and start considering why they say the things they say. And then, maybe, we can all have a nice adult conversation for once.”

 

Dakota emerged from the living room only then, greeting Samira with a fair smile.

“Hello, I take it your Zahid’s sister?”

 

“Yes, I’m Samira. I’m sorry to intrude but my brother is being even more troublesome than usual…”

Zahid tutted loudly at that.

 

“I’m Dakota, and this is Alex,” she motioned to me. “Zahid’s more than welcome to stay for now, until he’s ready to sort all this out. I don’t want to tell you all how to go about this, but-”

 

“Sure, sure, it’s alright… it’s our parents who are going to be annoyed about this,” Zahid’s sister sighed softly. She ran a hand through her long hair as she mulled over her words. “I get where they’re coming from, but I just want us to all get along.”

 

“Then tell them I’ll talk to them when they’re ready to listen to me,” Zahid finished, and strolled back into the living room.

 

Samira looked between Dakota and me.

“Best of luck with him…” she wished us with something of a pained look. “You can get our number from him if you need to reach us.”

 

“D’you want my number too?” Dakota offered, but the guest shook her head.

 

“I have his mobile number, and I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

She went to head back out of the door, only to come to a halt.

“You’re all okay, right?” she asked gently. “Only I know Zahid has his explosive episodes and he mentioned… something about monsters, earlier…”

 

“We’re okay,” I told her perhaps too readily. She moved her focus squarely onto me.

 

“Alright. It’s just… I’m studying psychology so I know people who can help with… well, it doesn’t matter, I suppose…”

With that submission, she completed her departure from the house.

“Goodbye,” she waved with a polite smile.

 

“Bye,” Dakota and I both waved back in kind, and I shut the door once Samira turned her attention to the street. The two of us exchanged a wordless look, unsure quite what to make of the offer that had been momentarily dangled before us.

 

…

 

“Awh, man, not fair! We should all move in!” Kendal proposed precisely one Kendal-second after hearing about Zahid’s new living arrangements.

 

“I’m game for that,” Bao added with what I took to be a hopeful look at Dakota.

 

“We don’t have enough bedrooms for six people to live here…” she pointed out sincerely.

 

“We’d find a way,” Kendal promised her, stretching a little.

 

“It’d be cool, at least,” I considered, thinking of it as nothing more than a hypothetical. “We went on holiday together and all that – the time you all stayed at my place that weekend, too – so we know what it’s like to all live together…”

 

“Exactly! And we hang out a lot anyway so it’s not a huge difference!”

Kendal, on the other hand, seemed more and more invested in the idea.

 

“Come up with a full plan of how it’ll all work,” Dakota countered, “and then maybe it can happen.”

 

“A plan…?” Bao asked, face showing evidence of the thought process churning away in his head. “What kind of plan would you need for…?”

 

“Who’d sleep where, how all our routines would fit together…” my girlfriend began listing off.

 

“Routines are boring, I do things however I feel on the day!” Kendal chirped brightly.

 

“And this is why we’d need a plan…”

The tiniest flare of irritation in Dakota’s words. I rubbed her back comfortingly.

 

“Okay, if I put some plan together and you approve, me and Bao get to move in, right?” our energetic friend double-checked, trying poorly to hold back a big grin.

 

Dakota looked to Zahid rather than answering straight away.

“Any idea how long you might be staying here…?”

 

“Beats me,” he shrugged. “However long you’ll have me, unless my parents finally get the picture.”

 

“What’s the deal with all that, anyway?” Bao enquired, leaning forward a little pre-emptively. “Is it a religious thing, like you hear about devout parents and tearaway kids, or, like, generational and they just don’t get what we’re all about?”

 

“Bit of both… well, a lot of both…”

 

“Hey, my parents aren’t like that,” Kendal pouted a little.

 

“You’re all pretty casual with your faith, though,” I noted. “I never really would’ve guessed you and your family were Christians… though I guess it’s not super-obvious unless you’re wearing crosses around your necks…”

 

“Good point,” she nodded thoughtfully.

 

“And it’s not like I’m…”

Zahid stopped there, his brow creasing a little as whatever he was about to say seemed to bounce about in his mind.

“Like… I’m not sure if I believe Allah really exists. And sometimes, I feel guilty about not doing the things I’m supposed to… they make me feel guilty… because if He is then I’m…”

 

“Dude, you’re still a good person,” Bao assured him. “Besides, I didn’t see anything that time I died, remember? No Heaven or Hell. You even made a comment about it, I think.”

 

“If He is, though, then I have to…”

He trailed off again, honestly looking more emotional than I’d seen him the vast majority of the time I’d known him.

 

“Let’s not worry about all that for today,” Dakota smiled at him. “You’ve got plenty of time to figure out how you feel. Besides… I can only imagine how Mam would react if she found out I stopped believing in God when I was about seven-”

 

“Rude!” Kendal bleated. “Or, err, blasphemous or something!”

 

“- but I think she’d understand. And if you explain everything to your parents, properly, when you’re ready… they should, too.”

 

“Maybe…” Zahid spoke lowly, uneasily.

 

“But for now, let’s relax and have fun,” Dakota concluded. “Right, Kitty?”

 

Kitty jolted lightly at that, perhaps having felt comfortable not being involved in this particular discussion.

“Uhm… I guess so… maybe we could watch a film or two…?” she suggested meekly, looking amongst us for any sign of disagreement.

 

“Ooh, yeah!” Kendal beamed. “Let’s go get some food and grab a couple of videos from Bao’s!”

She was already scrambling for the hallway before anyone could object.

 

“Guess that means I’m coming too…!” Bao laughed a little, getting up to follow her. “Coming, Kitty? You can help choose the movies!”

 

“O-Okay,” she nodded with hints of a blush as she too stood up from where she was perched on the arm of the sofa.

 

“I’ll come as well!” I decided aloud, springing up, then looking to Dakota and to Zahid. “Any snack requests?”

 

“I’ve been craving marshmallows since this morning,” Dakota smiled up at me.

 

“Pringles, whatever flavour,” Zahid added. “And if Kendal’s got her ID, maybe something alcoholic…”

 

“It’s a 50/50!” Kendal shouted from the hallway.

 

“If not, something fizzy, I guess,” he shook his head while sporting that characteristic lowered brow.

 

“Got it,” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

We wound up watching Back to the Future and Jurassic Park, largely on Bao’s recommendation as Kitty hadn’t seen either of them before (she enjoyed them, but was also very spooked by some of the dinosaurs), and easily made our way through all the food and drink we’d bought. It wasn’t much longer after that before Bao and Kendal headed back home – Kendal determined to come up with a workable idea of how we could all live together – and a somewhat-disjointed version of our evening routine fell into place.

 

“I hope I don’t keep you up later…” Zahid mentioned while the four of us watched TV.

 

“Not that bloody guitar…!” I remarked in mock-exasperation.

 

“Yeah, I always have a jam session at midnight, you know that,” he smirked. “Nah, just that I probably get to bed later than you guys…”

 

“Oh yeah…?” Dakota asked. I glanced at her, and a chill ran through me as I saw that competitive glare on her face.

 

“Around 11:30, I guess, maybe a bit later… I’ll try to be quiet, wouldn’t want to disturb you-”

 

“No, we get to bed that kind of time, too… don’t we, Alex?”

 

“Yes…?” I complied nervously.

 

“I don’t…” Kitty chimed in from the other armchair. Wise decision, excusing herself from the oncoming storm.

 

“Alright then, guess it’s not a problem,” Zahid declared, trying to force back a smile, knowingly trying to wind Dakota up now.

 

It was well past midnight when the three of us finally got to bed, exacerbated by Zahid purposefully being slow about heading to his (a.k.a. Pete’s) room just so Dakota would stay up longer in return. She was an amusing mix of exhausted and victorious as she and I settled down, and we drifted off to sleep in record time.

 

I don’t have a problem with Zahid living with Dakota and Kitty for the time being – whatever’s best for him – but if every Saturday night is going to be like this, I don’t know how I’ll cope…

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