Chapter Ignore

[The following chapter contains strong language. Reader caution is advised.]

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Thursday 6th August 1998

 

 

British summers are temperamental-

 

No, wait, every season in Britain is temperamental…

 

British summers are especially temperamental. Your average day will probably be sunnier than in other seasons, though you could also wind up overcast or even drizzly. Thunderstorms aren’t uncommon, and on occasion, it’s actually quite hot.

 

It’d been hot since the start of the week, in fact. Not unbearably, fortunately, but it has gotten to the point where I’ve felt no choice but to start wearing shorts. Writing that down, I realise how mundane that sounds, but it’s not my look (y’know, the fashionista that I am), and I feel self-conscious having my legs out. It’s like what those Beatles vultures in The Jungle Book say… I’ve got legs like a stork.

 

So, I was kind of nervous as I made my way to Dakota’s under the not-quite-midday sun, in t-shirt, shorts and trainers (and boxers and socks, of course – ankle-length socks so I didn’t look even weirder). I knew it wasn’t a big deal, but even a small deal wasn’t especially comfortable… which negated the added comfort of wearing shorts in reasonable heat, in a way…

 

It was a nice day, at least. Bright and sunny, with people mowing their front lawns and the sound of kids playing in their gardens, birds singing, a particular atmosphere of summertime suburbia encompassing me. It was a short journey, but it was enjoyable, almost kind of soothing. Really made the sudden nerves as I reached Dakota’s driveway hit me that much more acutely. It would be fine, right? They’d maybe make some jokes or something but that wouldn’t be lethal. Go in, get it over with, live it down.

 

A handful of steps up the driveway, my hand raised with knuckles poised for door-knocking, and then the door swung open with Bao’s cheery face on the other side.

 

“Hey man, saw you coming, you spent ages just standing there,” he greeted me eagerly.

 

“Right, yeah, sorry,” I spluttered back as he stepped aside for me.

 

“It’s all good, sometimes the heat does that to me too,” he assured me, closing the door up while I placed down my sword case and took my shoes off. “It’s like the opposite of a brain-freeze… like a brain-burn?”

 

“Brain-fry…?” I offered up; he nodded thoughtfully. “I take it Kendal’s not here yet?”

 

“No, she’s- how did you know…?”

That contemplative demeanour was burst in an instant, his eyes wide now.

 

“Ah, well,” I began, “I could tell from the way the gravel was moved and the faint layer of undisturbed dust on the banister that Kendal hadn’t come in, since she tends to bounce along when she’s approaching the house and she’ll touch the banister when she walks through…”

I’d started pacing during this, getting into this Sherlock Holmes schtick more than I’d intended. Bao was nodding along, intrigued, surprised.

“But the killer… clue… the killer clue, was the fact that her trainers weren’t there…”

The act (as much as it was) dropped in an instant and I gave him a look in which I tried to say “it was that obvious”.

 

“Oooooooh… okay, that makes sense,” he mused.

 

“Hiiii Alex!” Dakota’s voice sang down the stairs suddenly, followed first by her hurried footsteps, and then the girl herself, smiling brightly and hopping clear of the final few steps to reach the floor.

 

“Hey!” I grinned at her: beyond the usual flutter of my heart whenever I saw her, the feelings from our evening together were still clinging to me like a golden cobweb weaved by a… love-spider… “How’re you?”

 

“I’m good thanks, still sweltering!” she informed me with a pretend mop of her forehead with the back of her hand as she passed by, heading into the living room.

 

And at that point I very nearly found myself pointing out my shorts in an act of solidarity, but caught myself before the words could leave my mouth.

“Mmyeah same!” was what came out instead. Apparently I could only afford the brainpower for one competent sentence, between the heat and my crush.

 

Bao and I followed her into the living room, where Zahid was lounging in his favoured armchair, watching telly and wafting himself lightly with a hand.

“Hey,” he greeted me bluntly without turning to look at me.

 

“Hey,” I echoed, taking to the sofa along with Bao while Dakota drifted to the kitchen. “What’re you watching?”

 

“Some old shit,” he grumbled. “Beats me. Just waiting on Kendal now and then we can go out somewhere.”

 

“It looks like Magnum P.I. or something…” Bao commented. “Maybe they’ll say or- you should get the Radio Times, Dakota!”

 

“The what now?” Dakota asked from the kitchen.

 

“It’s a TV listings magazine! That way you’ll know what’s on telly!”

 

“Just in case you didn’t know what a TV mag was for,” I added at the same raised volume as Bao.

 

Dakota entered the living room with a glass in-hand, focusing on it as she made her way to the coffee table.

“I’ll see about getting it then,” she twinkled before placing the glass down on a coaster in front of me. “Orange squash, with ice.”

 

“Oh, thanks…!”

I hadn’t even asked for a drink and she’d gone out of her way to make me one. It didn’t feel like a “thanks” quite cut it, but then what else could I say?

“You didn’t have to- well, I mean, not that you shouldn’t have cos yeah, it’s hot and I’m thirsty, but like- I didn’t ask- I’m still glad you did-!”

 

“I can take it away again if it’s gonna break your brain,” she chuckled, and I found myself doing some weird mix of shaking my head and waving my hands in refusal.

 

“No, it’s okay, I’ll drink it, thank you!”

I should’ve stuck with the first “thanks”…

 

“Please, drink, it’ll give you a break from talking,” Zahid sighed.

 

I took the glass in-hand, feeling the chilled temperature and the faintest beginning of condensation, and began bringing its edge to my lips when the front door was practically bust down and Kendal came flying into the living room with unparalleled energy (how I managed not to spill my drink all over myself in surprise, I’ll never know).

“Hey guys, we ready to go to the skate park?”

 

“Oh right, yeah!” Bao chirped while springing to his feet. Zahid hauled himself upright too, and I decided I would have to down the whole icy drink before we left. I chugged it down while steadily rising from the sofa, froze my throat, then leant down to place the empty-bar-ice-cubes glass back down.

 

“Wow,” Dakota commented, having witnessed the whole thing while turning off the TV. “You enjoyed that, huh?”

 

“I just-” was all I managed to say with strained voice before the inevitable belch burst from me abruptly. It took the both of us by surprise.

“Pardon me…”

 

Dakota giggled, and patted my back and I’m not sure whether she was trying to assure me or burp me.

 

In short order, we all made it to the hallway, getting our shoes on while Kendal excitedly hopped around, her skateboard leant on the front door and keeping it pushed up.

“This is gonna be raaaad!” she sang seemingly to herself more than anything.

 

“It’s something to do,” Zahid countered while waiting on Dakota and me.

 

“But you’ll get to see me board!”

 

“Finally!” he cheered half-heartedly.

 

“Ready to go!” Dakota announced as she and I both finished with our footwear and grabbed our weapon cases, and without further ado, Kendal grabbed her board and flung the door open, marching us out with vigour.

 

Half a dozen imp things – a foot high if that, pale green with scrawny limbs and wide eyes – were exploring the drive. Two of them were picking up bits of gravel and throwing them at each other, another attempting to clamber up the fence, another still digging around curiously in one of the flowerbeds.

 

“Oh come on, man…!” Kendal groaned. “These weren’t here a minute ago!”

 

“We’ll take one each to start with, keep half an eye on the free one-” Dakota began, in leader mode in an instant, but she didn’t have the chance to instruct us any further.

 

“Wait, I have any idea!”

Bao turned to the rest of us with pride, and waited a beat to leave us briefly on tenterhooks.

“Why don’t we just ignore them?”

 

“They’re messing up the driveway!” Dakota pointed out urgently.

 

“But they’re not attacking us, and it’s not like any of the monsters we’ve fought ever attack anybody else. I’ve been thinking we should try this out, and these ones aren’t even bothering with us so it’s perfect, I just realised that!” he concluded, eyes alight.

 

“I mean, I can’t be arsed to fight right now, so if we’re all in favour…” Zahid shrugged.

 

“It’s… worth a shot…” I looked to Dakota. “It’s not like we could ignore monsters that were actually attacking us if this works out, but it can still help us figure out what their deal is…”

 

Her face still displayed her uncertainty; Kendal took her turn, stepping right up to the taller girl.

 

“I just wanna board, Dakota…” she pleaded with her best puppy-dog eyes.

 

I watched Dakota’s expression crumble in real-time.

 

Twenty minutes later, we were at the skate park, Kendal doing her thing while the rest of us watched and the six imps ran rampant.

 

It’s a weird life I’ve found myself living…

 

“Genuinely!” Bao was insisting. “An actual Komodo dragon in their garden!”

 

“Are you sure you’re not misremembering?” Dakota asked, still keeping half an eye on the imps at all times. “You were five…”

 

“No, I’m certain, probably!”

 

“Oh, well, if you’re certain probably…” Zahid repeated with a faint smile.

 

“It’s probably illegal to have a Komodo dragon anyway,” I considered. “Aside from zoos and all that.”

I adjusted my legs a little: I’d been feeling conspicuous about my shorts again as soon as we’d began our journey to the skate park, and the longer they went unmentioned by the others, the more paranoid I was getting. Were they neglecting to say anything? Had they not even noticed? Were the choosing to ignore it? Like… were my legs as unsettling as these imps? I tried to keep it to the back of my mind, and enjoy the warm weather and the company, but the thought kept prodding at me.

 

The imps, by comparison, weren’t being too troublesome. As Bao observed, they didn’t seem to be paying us too much mind – they’d kept with us the whole time, but they weren’t attacking us and they’d only shown passing interest in our Lokon weapons. They seemed more interested in exploring and pushing the limits of their surroundings, like toddlers testing everything they come across. Admittedly there wasn’t much for them to mess around with here, so it mostly amounted to them running around the slopes (occasionally proving to be an obstacle for Kendal) or climbing on the benches and railings.

 

Speaking of Kendal, it was kind of strange to see her properly boarding like this. She’d ride her skateboard to school pretty often, but since our school isn’t in the middle of the Peak District, I’ve only ever seen her boarding on a level surface. This was a whole new side to her, performing… ollies and kickflips and… other skateboarding manoeuvres… it was almost like with Dakota’s dancing, seeing somebody completely in their element.

 

“Did you guys see that?!” she yelled out to us after a pretty slick move that I really couldn’t properly explain.

 

“It was awesome!” I cheered back.

 

“Hell yeah!” Bao hollered along. “You’ll have to teach me sometime!”

 

“Sure thing!”

And she proceeded to continue doing what she did best.

 

“She’s gonna have us skateboarding into action before you know it,” Zahid speculated gloomily.

 

“That’d be cool though!” Bao swore. “We could do kickflips and go along railings and stuff!”

 

“I think you’d need a lot of lessons to pull that off,” I reasoned while imagining the kinds of horrible accents that could follow from Bao attempting moves like that.

 

“Of course, it’s like a sport or something,” he said as though that was already a foregone conclusion.

 

Seemingly giving up, Zahid sprawled back on the bench.

“Yeah, I heard they’re adding it to the Olympics…”

 

…

 

We spent two or three hours there in the end, chatting away and watching Kendal on her board (she’d occasionally join us for a break before returning to the slopes). Once she’d finally had her fill, we went the long way home, walking through suburbia, down side-alleys, along a path shrouded by trees, all the while followed steadily but incessantly by our imp entourage. I tried my best to ignore them, but I kept catching sight of them doing something, always curious and mischievous. “For Sale” signs gnawed, stones thrown, cars clambered on, trees scratched at, bird calls imitated… it almost felt like they were baiting us, trying to get us to snap. Like they knew we were trying to ignore them, and wanted us to be the ones to initiate a fight.

 

Eventually, not too far from Dakota’s, we headed into a grocery store with some trepidation: Dakota wanted to buy a few things, and the rest of us were on imp clear-up duty because, as we expected, they began pulling things from the shelves and causing trouble.

 

“Not much longer, I promise!” Dakota sang while zipping past us and down another aisle, a couple of imps in-tow.

 

“You said that a minute ago!” Bao called after her while returning cabbages to their tray.

 

“We’ve only been in here for three minutes,” Kendal noted, adjusting her bow case slung over her shoulder, her skateboard held under her other arm.

 

“It feels more like thirty…” he griped solemnly.

 

“Doesn’t matter how long,” Zahid began, “they’re still not attacking and I don’t like it."

 

“You didn’t want to fight earlier,” I reminded him, while watching an imp pull out fifteen little plastic bags from a dispenser: once it had moved on, I scooped up the bags and, unsure where to place them, stuffed them between two trays.

 

“I’m not spoiling for a fight, I’m just suspicious. They’re not normally like this.”

He glared at one of the imps scornfully as it scurried past, heading in the same direction Dakota had gone.

 

“I’ve got it!” Kendal declared, hurrying after it while continuing to juggle her case and her board.

 

“None of the monsters have really been anything alike, but I guess you’re right that they’re usually a lot more… proactive…” I nodded.

 

“Either these shit-heads have a plan – which would surprise me,” Zahid sneered, “or they aren’t really after the weapons…”

 

“But it’s like I said,” Bao chimed in while holding carrots between his fingers like a vegetarian Wolverine, “they don’t attack anybody else. Nobody else can even see them. They only show up around us, and the only thing connecting us is the weapons…”

 

“There has to be something we’re missing…”

I was about to try and dedicate some focus to that, except one of the imps was straddling a courgette and I had to keep my eyes on it in case the vegetable (or would it be a fruit?) ended up smashed on the floor.

 

“It’d help if we knew what they actually are and where they came from…”

Bao scratched his cheek contemplatively with one of the carrots.

 

“Too many questions, not enough answers…” Zahid exhaled softly.

 

“Okay, got everything, let me pay and we’re out of here,” Dakota told us while making her return journey at the same hurried pace as before, first the imps and then Kendal following not long after.

 

“Is this what it’s like to have kids…?” Kendal pondered aloud, looking between Bao, Zahid and me as though any of us had the answer. It wouldn’t surprise me if it really was this exhausting…

 

…

 

Once the five of us finally got back to Dakota’s, things got even more challenging. The imps filed inside with us, and before we could even discuss the idea of trying to herd them back out, they’d already fanned out around the house. We spent over an hour trying to keep them from doing too much damage, all the while carrying our weapon cases with us in the fear that a stray imp might go for them if we left them unattended… and yes, it was an extra layer of frustration for five of us to keep track of six imps.

 

Eventually – eventually – we got them all in the living room, and shut the doors to the hallway and the kitchen to keep them in one place. It took some indirect coaxing (though I’m also convinced Zahid picked his up and brought it to the living room), and a lot of luck, but we wound up with the most optimal situation we could hope for: all eleven of us in one place, in a room where we could hope to relax at least a little.

 

Which lead to me hearing sentences like “get off the TV, you stupid imp!” and “I don’t want the imps chewing the PlayStation!”

 

It was almost 7pm by the time the heat and the effort of dealing with the monsters had gotten the best of us: each one of us was sprawled out as though we’d run a half-marathon, sweating and completely done with the day. The imps, of course, were no less tired than when they’d first appeared hours earlier, and had taken to pulling books from the bookshelf for the dozenth time.

 

“I’ve just got it…” Dakota spoke up wearily.

 

“Mhm…?” Kendal enquired in much the same tone.

 

“This was the plan… exhaust us and then steal the weapons…”

 

Silence fell upon us as the sweat-rusted cogs of our brain whirred away.

 

“God fucking damn it, Bao…” Zahid finally growled.

 

“I didn’t know…!” the shorter guy whimpered defensively.

 

“We can still do something, though, right…?” I proposed. “Like the thing we did with the floor before, just go all-in with Lokon-attacks rather than… weapon-fighting?”

 

“… okay…”

So was Dakota’s less-than-firm go-ahead, and we all began steadily unlocking our cases (or opening our backpacks, in Bao’s case) to get hold of our weapons. The imps weren’t actively watching us, but their behaviour grew more nervous, less focused on messing around with the books and a little hastier.

“On one, suit-up and fire away,” Dakota advised us. “Three… two… one.”

 

And in the most lethargic power-up moment you’ve ever seen, we all blasted on our costumes while somewhere between sitting and lying down.

 

The imps began panicking, scrambling for the doors and the windows, suddenly all too aware that we were finally on the attack (in a manner of speaking).

 

“Jeez, they’re pathetic…” Zahid muttered, the first to heave himself upright. He swung his axe forwards, an arc of red flying out and only narrowly missing its target.

 

“Don’t tempt fate…” Dakota warned him while she, Bao and I all followed his lead in standing up. She launched a barbed green blast from the tip of her spear, and while it stuck into an imp like a pufferfish, it wasn’t enough to take it out.

 

“Whueh-!” Kendal blurted from her spot on the sofa; I turned to see an imp jumping off her stomach, presumably having leapt onto her a moment earlier. She took aim at it with as much energy as she could conjure, firing a spiralling arrow which gave chase after the imp and pierced it as it leapt from the armchair Bao had vacated.

 

I moved my attention to an imp clutching the handle of the door to the hallway: I thrust my sword in its direction like a fencer, letting the blade extend forward as pure blueness and skewer the monster. Unfortunately, it didn’t give up, still scrambling and garbling in gobbledygook even as it hung from the preternatural extension of my sword’s blade.

“Uhm…”

Now, I know I’m not the most creative of the group at the best of times, but with how worn out I was, I simply couldn’t conjure a way to finish the monster off. The first thing I attempted was to shake it off of the blade, but that didn’t really do anything.

 

I looked around the others, who were busy dealing with the other imps (it looked like one more had been killed since Kendal dealt with one) and hadn’t noticed my predicament.

 

The impaled imp was staring at me, unimpressed. The cheek of these things…

 

With nothing but a thought, I willed the sword – real blade and artificial extension alike – to generate dozens of spikes along its entire surface. They sprung into existence abruptly, and the imp let out a squeal before it froze in place and smudged out of existence. I felt a satisfied smile spread across my face despite myself.

 

Green sparks flew into my peripheral vision; a determined grunt from Dakota followed. An imp behind me was now engulfed in what’s best described as a green firework.

 

“Alex, heads up!” Bao urged, and I managed to notice the imp barrelling towards me just in time to bring my sword up to block it (my instincts weren’t fine-tuned enough to attack at such short notice). It bounced back, falling towards one of the armchairs: Bao caught it with his tonfa-blades extended like scissors, first holding it and then slicing it in half.

“Nice save!”

 

“Nice kill!” I replied. “Is that even the right word?”

 

“My one’s dead,” Zahid alerted the rest of us. “What’s the kill-count?”

 

Apparently, it was the right word…

 

A chorus of “one” or similar responses followed his query, and it felt as though we all completed the mental maths at the same time.

 

The kitchen door was open; the five of us moved to peer through the doorway.

 

The final imp was stood by the sink, holding the largest knife in the house, sneering away at us… impishly.

 

It moved its arm back to throw the knife.

 

“Screw that!” Kendal snapped, and fired three arrows right at our aggressor. Only one struck home, but that was all that was needed: it tumbled, and fell to the floor, knife clattering down next to it as it faded out of existence.

 

“Next time Bao recommends something, I’m voting against him,” Zahid concluded.

 

“I think I might vote against me too,” Bao added.

 

With that, we all headed back to where we’d been sat, still in our gear, the books remaining scattered around the room. A few moments passed by with us relaxing.

 

“Is anybody up for cooking…?” Dakota asked. “Because I’m cool with just ordering pizza.”

 

“For the second time this week?”

I mulled it over for a moment or two.

“Yeah, sure, pizza sounds good.”

 

“I could eat two…” Kendal murmured happily.

 

We’ll eat healthily at some point, I promise.

 

…

 

I wound up being the last person left at Dakota’s that evening – it wasn’t my aim, I just wanted to spend as long as possible in her presence – and she did her typical thing (for all of us, not just me) of chatting with me as I put my shoes on to go.

 

“Do you sleep with the window open when it’s hot like this?” she asked idly. “I worry about things flying in if I turn the light on…”

 

“What, like bats?” I jested, eliciting a giggle from her. “I have it on the latch, usually. Hopefully it won’t be hot much longer…”

 

“I think it’s meant to rain tomorrow.”

What a relief that would be… darn British weather, the grass is always greener on the other side…

“You don’t like the heat?”

 

“It’s alright, in small doses,” I said while standing upright.

 

“And you only just broke out your shorts…” she commented, and I froze. “Oh well, maybe it’ll be hot again soon!”

 

“You- I kinda thought nobody…”

It’d be stupid to bring all of this up with her, I decided, and cut myself short.

 

“You okay?” she asked, more than a hint of concern in her voice. “I’m just saying, you hadn’t worn them and I was getting a little worried you didn’t even have any…”

 

… yeah. Why did I expect any of them to think it was weird for me to wear shorts? They’d only really gotten to know me – or known me at all, in Dakota’s case – for a month and change. Here I was expecting the worst and they’d thought nothing of it at all.

 

“I just couldn’t find them until last night,” I smiled at her as convincingly as I could.

 

“Well, make sure you put them somewhere you’ll remember!” she smiled back with a twinkle.

 

“Don’t worry, you’ll get to see more of these sooner or later,” I teased, running a hand along one of my legs, and she laughed away brightly.

 

I guess the moral of the day is… sometimes things are a bigger deal than they seem, and sometimes they’re not a big deal at all. (That sounds nice and poetic.)

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